Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Consent 101 for Dummies


The reason I am writing this post because in the past months I realised that people actually dont get what constitutes as harassment, rape, rape apology so on esp by the Pakistani male population.

Even if you listen calmly and try to explain it to them, they literally don't get it. Honestly I dont blame them considering they watch "Bollywood" movies for entertainment which teaches "NO means YES", "MORE NO means OH! I WANT YOU SOOOO BADLY" and as my buddy Adnan places it that "they think that it takes 3 songs just to reach your destination" -_-

So here I am writing this hoping that people will actually understand it;

CONSENT: It means to permit, approve, or agree; comply

a) WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU: If someone has agreed to something which was of mutual in nature e.g. Someone will need your permission if they are entering your house.

      i) ONLINE REFERENCE: No one just barges someone online profile or even in personal interaction and shares their sexual fantasies with them on platforms like Twitter & facebook

b) WHAT DOES IN INTERACTING WITH OPPOSITE SEX/SAME SEX FOR SEXUAL FAVORS: Urban dictionary describes it as "getting permission for touching, kissing, or various sexual behaviors" whether the interaction was offline or online.

c) Reason: Because the other person didnt give you the "permission" to do so. If they said NO, it means a NO. If they didnt ask for your personal kinks or sexual preferences, it means a NO. If the topic was brought up and they felt uncomfortable and called you out for "harassing" them, it means a NO. At no point in them, it means a "YES" at all.

Consent culture is a huge part of how we interact with people. We want to do something, we ask for their permission. Its like invading personal space and unless someone invites you, you dont have any right to enter it.

d) CONSEQUENCES: IF you are one of those people who thought that a person was their personal property and you can "SAY" or "DO" whatever you want, then you are most probably a douchebag who harvests a "rapist mentality". I am sorry but thats a fact cos only sexual harassers and rapists don't respect personal boundaries while having conversations with people.

If one does not have consent for a said act, then act IS considered "SEXUAL HARASSMENT"/"RAPE THREAT" or whatever happens in the act which violates the person's boundary. And obviously if you puruse further then it proceeds to "RAPE" and "SEXUAL ASSAULT" or in online reference "CRIMINAL HARASSMENT" and "CRIMINAL INTIMIDATION [ I will cover these definitions in detail in my next posts ].

So if you and I are having a conversation and I haven't invited any sexual favors from you, then its unsolicited sex advice aka sexual harassment aka rape threat. This is not some "dark humor" and its NOT OK to pull such stunts to test anyone's personal limits cos that constitutes as douchebaggery. Despite of whatever Bollywood movies teach you, real women dont appreciate douchebags in real life. Its a fact!

Salman Khan, whom you really admire is a known for leashing his anger out on women in his life and beating up his female co-stars, this is absolutely NOT COOL. He has all the stardom and money in the world to support his douchebaggery, you on the other hand unfortunately dont. So it would be wise for you to learn a few things about ettiquettes and manners in personal interaction.

Last but not the least, consent is sexy! Try it sometimes, people will actually end up admiring and respecting you.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think men ever think about "asking" a woman for her consent. Asking a woman anything is beneath them. Some even go to the extent of saying that any and all interactions a woman has with men is solely for the purpose of inviting sexual encounters. It is sad, but true.

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